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My friend Bill Buell compares using coupons to using federal benefits for the down and out. Or Grandma shopping for provisions, pulling out a wad of coupons and a few coins from her purse. Yet, this big spender is always asking me for a dollar here, a quarter there, for his frequent trips to the row of company vending machines in the lunch room. My brother Tim has also looked down at coupons in the past, but I am slowly getting through to him.

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He is finally learning my code for coupon conduct. Paper coupons must equal paper money. If St. Also — I only use coupons for products I keep in cupboard and cold storage. And again, these are hard times.

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The savings — all tax-free, I might add — can be substantial. My friend Beverly Matern — Bev used to work at the old Gazette before finding even greater happiness as a family woman in Horseheads, near Elmira — clips everything. She is always asking me for extra coupon inserts I find lying in newspaper trash bins. Beverly once convinced me to break one of my coupon rules.

Emboldened by a true coupon connoisseur, I took some coupons for Perdue chicken — pre-cooked chicken in airtight bags, the perfect bachelor food — to my local supermarket. These slips of paper were as dead as fried chicken; they had expired weeks before. Beverly later explained the mistake: Always go to the teenagers! I especially appreciate double coupon weeks at Price Chopper. Remember, these are hard times. The scene was supposed to supply a chuckle, and I guess it did. Are guys cutting coupons supposed to be kind of a joke?

Ten dollars saved will buy me a half a tank of gasoline or a decent bottle of booze if you want to call Irish cream liqueur booze. Or part of a tip in a nice restaurant. Skip to main navigation. Home News.

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